10 years - is that all??

Let me preface this entire post with a clear disclaimer: I am not in an entirely reasonable state of mind right now. I'm what one might call "moderately emotional", if one were predisposed towards huge understatements.

Colby left today. Which puts me in a pickle - a pickle because of the 2 wild demons that I'm left to care for; because of the undoubtedly adorable & entirely dependent little bundle that's headed my way in a matter of weeks; because of the entire household that I'm left to run on my own.

But mostly, MOSTLY, because after over 10 years together, I'm not entirely sure who I am without him. Many people might describe this sort of thing as losing half of themselves, but I'm certain I don't have nearly that much left remaining.

So, there's my pickle.  Never been a huge fan of pickles in general.

I'm making this all sound very gut-wrenching and agonizing, I know - when really, I have complete confirmation in my heart & soul that this will all work out not for our good, or for the better, but for the BEST! I have more sources of help than I know what to do with, it's truly an embarrassment of riches. I have no doubt that when all is said and done, I will look back on this time, and wonder how this small sacrifice was sufficient payment for all the immeasurable blessings we received in return.

BUT. But...  It's 9:46 on my first night without Colby; and while today went okay - make that okay - without him, I'm all-too painfully aware that I have nearly 200 days left & the odds are good that a fair percentage of that will not receive the same report. If that isn't a perfect recipe for wallowing, I just don't know what is. So, wallow I shall - 'cause sometimes a little wallowing is good for the soul. I'm sure I've read that somewhere...

Which brings me to: the catchup post about our 10th anniversary!! In case I haven't already bored you to tears with my weepy patheticism, here's a bunch of pictures of us, with zero cute kiddies, to really push you over the edge. :)

For something special to do for our 10th, we found a great deal on a lovely little lodge just outside Zions National Park. I'd never been there before, which is crazy! I was so glad we decided to head down there, it is some mighty gorgeous scenery down there. We are definitely looking forward to heading down there with the whole family sometime and showing the kids the amazing natural wonders.

So, here's a bunch of pictures with my rambling captions that are sure to drive your mouse up to that little "X" in the corner. :)

**Next disclaimer - after spending about 2 hours on this post, I was at the end, finishing off the semi-poetic declaration of love for my sweetheart full of all the things that I should tell him everyday but never really do (no, I'm actually not kidding at all) -- and Blogger glitched & lost about 2/3rds of the post. Yeah. So, I'm just gonna get the pictures back on, get this posted, and put myself to bed. Let's end this day, already.**

They had these signs all over (we were there in Feb., after all); but we were actually encouraged by the overall message: "Watch out for ice - but if you hit a patch, don't forget to go down in style, with JAZZ HANDS!"

Heading up the Angels Landing trail

Walter's Wiggles, from the bottom

Made it to the top of the Wiggles

We opted out of the final leg to the peak of Angels Landing, for a few reasons: me pregnant, me in heeled shoes, the icy conditions of the "path", and what was that other reason.... Oh yeah, the disturbing number of people that have DIED climbing it. I'm quite satisfied with the view we got from this spot. :)

Our all-too-brief stop at Kolob Canyon on the way home - seriously gotta go back there sometime, the views were beyond breathtaking!!!

Happy Anniversary, love. Miss you. 

Sometime I'll try to tell you all the things that Blogger decided it didn't want me to tell you.